The Curse of the 2nd - Part 2

This year, I came second in:

• An artist’s pen-mic event.

• A solo singing college event.

• A singing competition at the radio.

• Swarsangam college event.

• And a few more….

• (Class 4 football tournament)

It’s a pattern I’ve noticed for a while now—I always seem to land in second place. No matter the competition, it’s like I’m always just one step away from the top. For a long time, I jokingly called it “The Curse of 2nd “.

It’s frustrating. Being so close and still falling short can mess with your head sometimes.You start questioning yourself: What am I doing wrong? Am I just not good enough? But lately, I’ve started to think about it differently.

Coming second isn’t a curse—it’s progress. A year ago, I wasn’t even close to placing. Now, I’m consistently at the top, just one spot away. That’s improvement, and that’s what matters.

I believe the first prize is waiting for me somewhere bigger, somewhere that truly matches what I’ve been working for. Maybe it’ll happen in 2025. When it does, I know it’ll be worth every step of this journey.

So now, instead of letting second place get me down, I’m using it as fuel. It’s a reminder that I’m moving forward. And when I finally break through, I’ll know I’ve earned it.

It’s not a curse—it’s my story.

The Curse of the 2nd - Part 1

From the time I can remember, I usually came first in the things I participated in, except for studies. It was more like a wave pattern across increasing standards. Let’s not go there.

I have participated in various singing competitions since childhood. I got a gold in the first standard. I was the 5th runner-up in a duo singing competition in class 5 or 6. My solo performance that day was terrible—I changed the song just seconds before stepping on stage.

In 11th, I won a gold award in a duo singing competition for a self-composed and written song. I also performed a qawwali at the annual function with four fellow singers.

After that, as far back as I can remember, I have participated in a dozen competitions. I either failed, usually in the beginning, or kept coming second, second, and second. It’s been a while now since I’ve been coming second.

The Age of Competition

Over the past 6-7 months, a lot has changed in my life. I dropped the Chartered Accountancy course and finally started learning music from The Ghulam Hasan Khan of the Rampur-Sahaswan Gharana.

Since then, I’ve participated in every competition I could find—whether it was at the national level or just a small society program. I’ve had my share of wins and rejections, and I’ve even come across reality shows that asked for money after selecting me. This December alone, I’ve traveled three times for auditions and competitions.

The thing is, I feel like I don’t have anything solid to hold onto—nothing that reassures me or motivates me enough to keep going.

At 21, there’s so much competition, and being the son in the family adds even more pressure. I know I need to start earning and standing on my own feet as soon as possible.

It does not mean I’ll give up.

NO-NEVER

Jashn-e-Rekhta

It was my first time seeing celebrities with my own eyes at an event.(15th dec 2024)

Jashn-e-Rekhta, a three-day festival celebrating the Urdu language, brings together pioneers of Urdu literature, film stars, poets, and singers to share their talents and interact with the audience.

I saw Javed Akhtar saheb, and the moment I laid eyes on him, it hit me—celebrities do exist beyond the screen.

I also got to see Ustad Arshad Khan, the renowned esraj player, performing on the Mehfil Khana stage. Since I’ve always been fond of the esraj, it was heartwarming to watch him play live.

As the day went on and one celebrity after another graced the stage, there came a moment when I couldn’t focus on them anymore—because all I could think about was being up there myself. The feeling was overwhelming: 

Why not me?

I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and told myself: 

The next one is mine.