My Journey, Their Doubts

Since my school days in Lucknow, as far as I can remember, there were always comments full of doubts and disbelief about what I would do in my future (ooooh, the eldest son of a typical brown family). Education in science or commerce and becoming a doctor, engineer, or CA is nice — they are the ones making our day-to-day life easy. But I never took interest in that. My parents used to think I was aimless and always doubted me. Not that I have succeeded in life today, but I just wanted to share this because something similar happened yesterday.

Since I started learning music after my graduation, leaving all the studies and people behind, I have narrowed down my circle to a few people — people who believed in me and whom I respect. But recently I got to know they have doubts about me and my future — and it actually disheartened me, because I used to think they were the people who would always stand by me. Doubt doesn’t mean they would not support me or anything like that.

My schooling was done in Lucknow with my siblings. We lived with our uncle and aunt. My chachi used to say that Shiva is altogether a very good boy — capable, smart, and kind — he just needs to study for his future.

Now that I have stepped into music, which my family didn’t support at first (and some of them still don’t), they are now even more doubtful about my future.

I have always been crystal clear about who I want to be since my 2nd grade, and that has never changed. Being aware of the industry, I know that being a successful artist is a gamble — upon my life. And the people who are close to me fear that if I fail, it will affect them too.

I don’t know, but I have never doubted myself. With time, learning, improving, and writing, I have only focused on moving forward at my own pace. I cannot imagine a life without my music being published and being loved by my audience. I cannot satisfy anyone else today about my hard work — no matter how close a person is, they will have doubts until you do it. It is a part of your journey.

And there is a whole different meaning to what you mean by DOING IT — achieving that certain something — for an individual. I am going to save this for later.